People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better
Why is it so hard to work well with some people? "People Styles at Work...and Beyond" presents a comprehensive, practical, and proven method readers can use to: - recognize how they come across to other coworkers - read others' body language and behavior to identify the best ways to work with them - make small adjustments that will dramatically increase the quality and productivity of their interactions - find common ground with different people while retaining their individuality - relate less defensively and more effectively--no matter how others act The book reveals the strengths and weaknesses of four different people styles, providing practical techniques that work both on the job and off. Now including all new material on personal relationships, parenting, and more, this is the ultimate guide anyone can use to enhance even the most difficult relationships.
myself a lot of wear and tear with people if I just learned to understand them.’’ —RALPH ELLISON This page intentionally left blank CHAPTER 1 No Wonder We Have People Problems you’ll have at least some unwelcome and unproductive friction with others. There are difﬁculties to be worked through in the best of relationships. In more troubled ones, people problems undermine productivity, erode friendships, and stress families. Of all the problems we face, people problems are often the toughest
are no longer yourself. You’ll ﬁnd that when you really understand what the other person is going through, much of the stress you are experiencing will dissolve. Don’t Do Business with Someone Who Is in Backup Avoid discussing signiﬁcant issues when the other person is in backup. The more crucial the transaction, the more important it is to avoid talking about it when the other person’s interpersonal ability and judgment are compromised. When Others Are in Backup, Don’t Try to Talk Them out of
Expressive wants things done yesterday. But after you’ve knocked yourself out and Appendix I For Amiables Only: How to Flex to Each Style 161 met the Expressive’s deadline, your work may be ignored for some time as the Expressive takes up another project. Your project, which seemed so urgently needed a short time ago, may gather dust for a few months. On the one hand, it’s important not to take these incidents personally: Realize that it’s a style-based tendency. On the other hand, if you
making a decision. Also, Drivers tend to be exceptionally independent. When two Drivers are collaborating, it’s often helpful if one encourages interdependence by checking out what the other thinks. One of the two Drivers could help them both focus more on long-term impact rather than solely on short-term goals. Similarly, Drivers are so task-oriented that when two of them are engaged in a project, they may become less productive over time because neither one puts in the effort required to
we’re told that the population of many countries is divided unequally among the four people styles. THE IMPORTANCE OF PROBABILITIES When we say that people are fairly predictable, we’re not suggesting that you’ll be able to foretell someone’s every move. Nor do we claim that you Chapter 2 People Are More Predictable than You Might Think 23 can know for sure how a person will react. When you are dealing with people, there are no certainties—but there are signiﬁcant probabilities. By probable,