Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward
While endings are a natural part of business and life, we often experience them with a sense of hesitation, sadness, resignation, or regret. But consultant, psychologist, and bestselling author Dr. Henry Cloud sees endings differently. He argues that our personal and professional lives can only improve to the degree that we can see endings as a necessary and strategic step to something better. If we cannot see endings in a positive light and execute them well, he asserts, the "better" will never come either in business growth or our personal lives.
In this insightful and deeply empathetic book, Dr. Cloud demonstrates that, when executed well, "necessary endings" allow us to proactively correct the bad and the broken in our lives in order to make room for the professional and personal growth we seek. However, when endings are avoided or handled poorly--as is too often the case--good opportunities may be lost, and misery repeated. Drawing on years of experience as an executive coach and a psychologist, Dr. Cloud offers a mixture of advice and case studies to help readers
know when to have realistic hope and when to execute a necessary ending in a business, or with an individual;
identify which employees, projects, activities, and relationships are worth nurturing and which are not;
overcome people's resistance to change and create change that works;
create urgency and an action plan for what's important;
stop wasting resources needed for the things that really matter.
Knowing when and how to let go when something, or someone, isn't working--a personal relationship, a job, or a business venture--is essential for happiness and success. Necessary Endings gives readers the tools they need to say good-bye and move on.
your business produce more buds than you can nurture, and you will end some things more readily and easily. It won’t register as so traumatic, nor will your brain resist as if something is wrong. 3. Accept That Incurable Sickness and Evil Exist Your business and your life will change when you really, really get it that some people are not going to change, no matter what you do, and that still others have a vested interest in being destructive. Once you accept that, some very necessary endings
companies, the family feel can also be extended to employees as the same dysfunctional family dynamics become corporate practice. These maps can also be hurtful to all concerned and prevent some significant necessary endings. Check in with yourself and see if you have any of these relational maps that may be hurting you, your business, or your employees. Past Experiences Our psychological makeup is a collection of past experiences, and these determine how we think about endings. As we have
sadness associated with an ending. • We do not possess the skills to execute the ending. • We do not even know the right words to use. • We have had too many and too painful endings in our personal history, so we avoid another one. • When they are forced upon us, we do not know how to process them, and we sink or flounder. • We do not learn from them, so we repeat the same mistakes over and over. Question: As you reflect on these reasons, can you think of any situations where these reasons
go back to grad school.” Some people have a problem with such an approach, saying they might be selling themselves short. But I did not say the time period had to be short. I just said that it is a good idea to know how much of your life or resources you want to spend on something before you lose them all. What matters is that you are in charge, and sometimes having a standard to self-select against takes the decision out of your head and makes it objective, similar to Jack Welch’s “Be number
the energy that he created, his passion for what they were doing, and his creativity about the technology they had developed. They wanted to be on his team and make what they had created succeed and grow. Even more important, they wanted to give their talents to the company, and they all wanted to be part of the endeavor for the long term. But they had gotten to a bad place. When I interviewed them they were as dismayed and as frustrated as they had been motivated and inspired at the beginning